Neacel (my 3 year old) is a pretty good kid. He listens at times, and remembers his manners. Very smart and remembers a lot that we tell him. But there is one thing we have never needed to cover with him, comments about other people. With this being said, one of my worst nightmares happened yesterday with him.
Every Wednesday we go to Salvation Army to see what treasures we can find. It's in an interesting part of town, so you see interesting people. It is just part of it right? I have him in the cart and hubby is off with Brody looking at who knows what. We are walking towards the bathroom (because he if finally 100% potty trained!!) and there is a larger older lady that we are passing. As we get closer he points to her and says "Mom look at that fat lady with a big butt" I kept walking, knowing my face is turning every shade of red possible. I felt the heat on my face, I never in my life have been so embarrassed. I looked at him while walking and said "Neacel we never say things like that" he just kept starring at her. We got to the bathroom and I got in his face and repeated that we never ever ever say things like that too people. I could tell by him looking at the floor with a sad face that he felt bad, but then I realized we didn't say sorry or anything. I was in such a state of shock and panic that I had just kept walking.
After the bathroom I wanted to say sorry, I wanted him to actually, but I couldn't find her (being short makes it tough to find people in a store), and I didn't know if she even heard him. I should have looked harder to find her, I know I didn't give it my best effort but I will admit, I was scared. I felt horrible because I know if I was her, I would have been hurt. I couldn't believe that he had sad something like that about another person. I was angry, embarrassed and just felt sad for her because all we know is that she is a child of God, and that we all look our own special ways.I'm going to spend a day talking with Neacel about each of us look different and that we should never stare, make comments or anything other then smile at others. I pray this lesson sticks as well as others have!!!!
What would you do in that situation? I pray that I never ever have to deal with that again.
Hm. I don't have children. Also, fortunately, I don't have anything about my physical makeup that kids might want to comment on. I think that if a toddler (under 5) made a comment like that I might feel bad, but I'd also laugh because that's just what kids do, and I think it's happened to every single parent I know, and they've done exactly what you did. Correct the child appropriately, and move forward. You can revisit the lesson later when your son encounters this kind of thing aimed at him when he starts school (yeah, it'll happen), and help him connect the dots about not doing it to other people, loving other people regardless of their "container", etc! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteSusan, thanks so much for the advice! We have talked about how people are different and it doesn't matter what they look like. No matter what, they are people with feelings and things we say can make them sad.
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