I was on Facebook the other day when I saw a friend post this article. At first I just kept going, not planning on reading it, but then I was bored because the kids were sleeping and thought what the heck! It is an amazing story about a mom and her daughter and how the mom teaches her that "I'm not mean, I'm a mom!"
This is the worst day of my LIIIIIIIIIIFEEEEEEEE!” my daughter whined and cried after losing her Littlest Pet Shop kitty at a bridal store. She sobbed and sobbed in the backseat of the car (O.K. mini-van), lamenting about all the things that were terrible in her life. She was hungry, tired, fighting a head cold, and sick of sitting in a “baby” car seat (she is in a high-back booster seat because she is tiny and it’s safer). And there’s more: her shoes were uncomfortable, it was raining outside, and worst of all the sun had gone down while we were in the store. She is terrified of the dark. TERRIFIED!-read the rest of the story here
After reading it all I could think it that the mother is the most patient person ever! How many of us can say that in a similar situation we have/would act the same way? I obviously haven't hit that stage in life with my boys, but I imagine I drive home as fast (and safely) as I can, feed them and then off to bed. Battles from them filling the silence I provide from being so angry. That stage will hit, and there are day where I just wait to here it from my oldest because he is made at me for some silly reason. (He was "blessed" with his mommies temper)
Meltdown moments in our home come by the handfuls. Yesterday actually, Neacel had a meltdown over a commercial being on and begged me to fast forward the tv (DVR) I told him no and that his show would be on a few.....you would have thought I broke his arm! He screamed and screamed, stomped and everything. SO I turned the tv off, meltdown number 2 in 3...2...1...KABOOM! He threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming. He told me he would watch the commercial but that he wanted his show. I explained that acting like that doesn't get you anything in life. You can't just whine and cry about everything and that we don't always get what we want. So after calming down I was finally able to talk to him about acting like that....all he heard was "blah blah blah, no tv. Blah blah blah blah blah" Que meltdown number 3! At this point I'm just annoyed and tell him to go play with toys. He doesn't want to because brother is playing with them (brother has cooties sometimes I think, good thing I got my shot in 2nd grade!) So I take him up to his room to "relax" and just play with toys. After 5 minutes of screaming and kicking the door you hear his yell threw the crack under the door "Mommy, I'm done relaxing and I'm sorry!" So I go and get him and I'm greeted with a hug, kiss, puppy dog sad face and him saying sorry. He did get another show later in the day that he earned and didn't whine about the commercials. He said thanks for the show and when it was over turned off the tv and played with brother. If there is one thing my hubby has taught me, its that staying calm in heated situations are going to get better results then freaking out with him. (Thanks babe, and you thought I wasn't listening!!!)
Sad to say, but the story is true. Some moms are mean, down right mean to their children. Name calling, hitting, not feeding etc and those children are sad and don't have good relationships with their mom or possibly anyone. But we need to teach our little dudes (and dudettes) that not giving them something they want isn't mean. It isn't us trying to make them angry, its usually for a lesson. So today, try to teach your child a lesson over a freak out moment. No matter what the age, a lesson is always fun to learn. We are working on listening with both of our boys. Neacel seems to forget how to 3 seconds after I remind him, and Brody is still young but anytime we tell him "no" to something the screams and laughs and continues louder and harder then before. So today, I WILL stay calm during each meltdown, I WILL stay firm on what I say, and I WILL teach a little mini lesson each opportunity I have!